


Over my frozen heart

by Shadowdianne



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:22:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/Shadowdianne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina could felt how Emma was slowly freezing to death, she could feel in her own veins how the blonde was starting to shiver, to move closer to the nothingness, and maybe she was a coward, a villain, but she would fight for Emma, for keeping her alive. Even if she wouldn't acknowledge why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N I had been thinking of something like this since last Sunday, I guess my muse couldn’t let this pass.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own OUAT or Dinsey.**

Regina Mills was in pain, a pain that she, herself maintained only for egotistic purposes. She knew that keeping the pain she would keep hurting herself but letting the pain go meant that she needed to address something scarier than the heartache.

She wasn’t a coward, under her fist she had cast a curse and maintained said cursed until the savior show up. No, she was strong, dedicated, even her mother couldn’t argue with that. But the truth was that Regina feared a little the idea of a happy ending. She wanted one, she wanted to be seen as an equal, not as a monster, but the idea of a happy ending scared her a little because almost all of her life she had felt pain, heartache. She was so accustomed to that she barely felt the pain in her lungs every time that she needed to fill them. She had lived in pain and regret almost all of her life and letting go that pain would mean to let something entirely different in into her heart.

She was no fool, even if the idea of letting go the pain scared her a little when Robin Hood had first show up she thought that maybe she could maintain the pain but keep the love. Because Robin Hood was a piece of her past, past that brought her tears, pain, regrets, and deaths. Robin Hood was a happy ending with bittersweet memories, something that she knew wasn’t healthy but she knew that she could have.

Because the idea of another love story was terrifying.

The brunette wasn’t a fool, she had felt the connection with the savior in the very moment that Emma had touched her, and she had felt that same connection when the blonde had helped her with the trigger. She had felt, and she had known and the idea of being brave with that kind of happy ending scared her.

No, she wasn’t a coward but she didn’t know if she was worth a happy ending in which she was truly redeemed. She didn’t know if she could be redeemed. If she could truly be happy. And, because of that, she preferred to no acknowledge the truth. A truth that sometimes she thought that Blue knew, that Rumple knew, that everyone knew, the truth that even if both of them didn’t talk about it was there.

Emma and her.

Regina didn’t want to discover what admitting her love for Emma could be, she didn’t want to admit that, to open her heart like this, her heart was black, yes, but also fragile after all the times that she had thought she could be happy.

So when Marion came and her easy, painful solution disappeared Regina felt her emotion for Emma resurface, and the jealousy became almost too strong because Emma was having a happy ending with the pirate, a pirate that didn’t seek for redemption, a pirate that didn’t realize how precious Emma really was.

So it was easier to hide, to try to search another solution, because the easier solution was scary, much scarier than anything that Regina could have accomplished.

Until something that the ex-mayor hadn’t think about it appeared. Another threat.

She remembered how a sudden chill had woken her up, how she felt her body slowly became as cold as ice. She remembered being scared and in an instant of clarity she knew.

The chill, the cold were Emma’s.

And then another kind of fear came, the fear of losing Emma, the fear that, after everything she wouldn’t, she couldn’t ask Emma to leave her alone another time, the fear that that smile and that voice were going to disappear. And maybe was the idea of losing Emma in a way much darker than the wedding type but she knew that even with fear she would do something for Emma, for herself.

So in the solitude of her house she gave all of her own energy, sending it to Emma, feeling her own body starting to tremble and her own thoughts starting to disappear while the cold defeated her body, and suddenly the angst that she was feeling disappeared and though the link that Emma had made without knowing it she felt heat.

And she knew that Emma was alive.

Maybe the idea of Emma being alive was the ultimate push but when later, much much later; she opted to appear in a puff of smoke in Snow’s house and she didn’t hesitate to search for the blonde. And when a sleepy Snow smiled at her nodded she smiled as well.

She was no fool, she knew what the connection that Emma had made meant, but she also knew something: maybe in her lands true love was easy but here wasn’t so she knelt next to Emma, who was still sleeping, and she smiled at the figure, ignoring Snow who was watching them both silently.

-          I promise you that you won’t die; anything that can happen to you will have to pass over my own frozen heart Emma.

And with that vow she looked at Snow and disappeared, leaving Emma once more.

Fighting for Emma wasn’t as scary as losing her forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N At first I was doubtful but after the comment asking for the second part of the one shot I decided to write the companion piece of it. Tell me what you think about it!

Over my burning soul

Emma Swan didn’t know how to talk to people very well; she was more an action type of girl. She didn’t trust vows or words in a paper; she needed to see, to touch before deciding. She knew that she wasn’t an easy person and she never tried to change that fact, being difficult meant being save in some way and in the live that she had lived until very recently being save was the most important thing.

When Emma Swan first met Storybrooke something started to change, she needed to believe in words written in a paper instead in tings that she could touch and even after the broken curse she still couldn’t feel safe in a world created with words, paper and hate.

But she must to.

Her new found parents, her son, asked her to believe and even if deep in her soul she felt that she couldn’t believe in some ink and incantation she was obligated to believe.

And she hated, she hated the need to believe in words instead of acts, she needed to be a savior, a person that she in reality wasn’t. A person that had to make decisions about others.

Like Regina Mills, the Queen, the Evil Queen in fact.

Emma didn’t know, didn’t realize when the rage because of their war above her son morphed, she felt different before and after seeing the Enchanted Forest but she didn’t want to acknowledge feelings that had to be fake.

They  had to because if her feelings were true it meant that even words written weren’t true. It meant something that even to her, with all the things that she had said and saw and did was scary.

So she let it go, taking care of Regina, fighting her parents every time that they tried to teach something of lands far away, of curses and hatred that in Storybrooke were drenched paper. And she tried to fight back her feelings because she didn’t want to disappoint her son, her future.

She was selfish and she knew it, she couldn’t have everything but for a couple of months she let her mind believe that she could.

Hook was the perfect choice for a tale, a written tale, the male pirate, the female savior, both redeemed, both heterosexual. And with that kind of tale she still could take care of Regina, she still could think that the acts were before words. And she had known Regina enough to know that the woman was only acts.

She was no fool, or a coward, but she simply wanted to feel the things that sometimes she let the tales of her childhood tell.

Maybe the Savior had fought and had lost and all that it was still inside her was only the shadow of the savior, of the warrior that once upon a time she had been.

But when Elsa appeared and the coldness started to imprison her heart she felt it.

Not the cold but the flames that seemed to engulf her heart in a fierce embrace, protecting her, saving her.

Taking care of her.

And she knew, in that very moment that she closed her eyes that the fire that was starting to enlighten her soul wasn’t hers.

It was from her, from the Queen, from her own Savior.

Later, much much very much later when everybody had left and Snow was sleeping with Neal in her arms and she woke up she felt again the thread of magic that was protecting her heart, a fire that was now merged with her. And maybe because of the fire, maybe because she truly wasn’t a savior, only a person that wasn’t very good with words, maybe because, after all she was truly a daughter Snow woke up when she tried to sneak away and gave her a tired smile.

-          She had been here. - muttered the brunette and Emma knew, and she realized that Snow knew too.

-          I could say sorry- admitted Emma.

-          But you wouldn’t believe that words- answered Snow looking at her softly.

-          No, I wouldn’t

-          I don’t care what the book says Emma, I only care about you.- and with that last statement Emma walked away, each step liberating her from words, from ink, from curses.

It didn’t take long to reach Regina’s house, but when Regina finally opened her door, with her eyes looking at her like a ghost the words that she had been thinking disappear.

Emma Swan wasn’t very good with words after all.

So she kissed her, fiercely, with passion, with fire, and between her kisses she murmured one last sentence:

-          I will be yours Regina, I swear to you over my burning soul.

And then Regina laughed, and kissed her again, and cried, and laughed again and Emma knew, because Regina knew, that they had finally found their tale, their happy ending.


	3. Over our melting words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N Well, I had tried to write a multi-chaptered fic continuing the idea of the first and second chapter but after thinking I realized that it wasn’t what this story needed.  
> So here I write the truly last chapter of the fic, I hope that is good enough.

They weren’t perfect, they were humans with scarred hearts and tired souls, they didn’t have all the solutions or all the answers, they were only two persons, two women.

Emma didn’t know how to trust people, and Regina didn’t know how to explain that she felt safe whenever Emma was around. Because even with all their screams and cries they knew that they could count on each other, even if the world was freezing over or boiling. They weren’t the people that they were supposed to be. But they were fed up of that utopic idea, of that old fate; they were only what they _permitted_ them to be. Or what they have ended to become.

So when after a long night in which both of them answered every question that they weren’t supposed to ask, and shed every tear that they weren’t supposed to cry they finally came out of the mayoral house.

They were the same and, at the same time, they weren’t; her hands were intertwined and her secretive smiles were brighter, her own magic seemed to pulsate and run free and when they passed near the Blue Fairy the magical being frowned sensing that something had changed.

They were wounded; they had been abandoned before by people that had said that they were worthwhile so they simply stared at each other and nodded before entering the blonde’s house.

Her mother was awake, a tired smiled on her face and a sad shimmer in her eyes. But even with all of that she nodded too and pointed at the kitchen in which Hook was having her breakfast.

Regina simply let go Emma’s hand for a second before grabbing it again, the blonde licking her lower lip once before calling Hook.

The pirate didn’t see it coming, didn’t understand it either, he didn’t know that Emma was complicated, or maybe he didn’t want to acknowledge that every person had a story. Maybe he didn’t want to see it.

But by the time his screams and reproaches started Emma and Regina had long ago decided that they were going to fulfill their promises, they were going to try, they were going to be strong and even with all the recriminations and fears they were going to fulfill the words that they had said, whispered to each other.

Because they now together, loving each other, giving each other what normal people couldn’t understand. And by the time Henry was awake they had both muttered the same promise: They were going to be enough; they were going to be worthwhile.


End file.
